Why I hate The King of Queens

You know those shows on TV that you just can’t watch? You see even a second of the show, and it makes you want to go read for half an hour, or clean the toilet? For my wife, one of those shows is King of the Hill. For me, The King of Queens fits the bill. And I never quite knew why. Kevin James seems like a nice enough guy. Leah Remini seems okay, for a scientologist…
It’s not really that I hate the show, but I always got this vague sense of discomfort while watching. (I get the same feeling with Everybody Loves Raymond, usually only when Brad Garrett is speaking in that annoying voice). I could never put my finger on it.

While on a visit to Wyoming recently, it finally hit me. They’re related. Doug Heffernan (James) married his sister. Or at least, to me, it looks that way.

It’s not even weird in that “married inbred yuppies” vibe you get from watching Friends. No, James and Remini look like fraternal twins to me. It’s gross.

Plus, James has that whole goofy chubby frat guy thing going on, which adds to the annoyance factor. I’ll take my chubby TV guys acerbic like Costanza, thank you. And my married couples, I want them realistic. No more chubby slobs with the hot chicks. You want a model for realistic marriages? Take two:

Boy. With issues like these on my mind, it’s no wonder I have trouble writing lately. Between this and thirteen weeks with no new episodes of Lost, I’m on a downward spiral.

On the upside of things:

Welcome back to a Blue America!

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