Michael Paul Gonzalez: Scary Author. Monkey Enthusiast.

Only the Cubbies.

Damn Damn and double Damn. Game six.

A classic.

The Cubs are six outs away from their first world series in forever. And what happens? What turns the tide of the game? Is it abrilliant double play by the Marlins? A skyrocket homerun?

No.

It’s a Cubs fan.

A Cubs fan who doesn’t think to get the Hell out of the way of a foul ball and let his home team make the play. A Cubs fan whom I feel sorry for, because he will probably have to move out of Chicago since some drunken idiots will be looking to hurt him should the Cubs not make it to the Series.

Now. Let’s analyze:

Did the fan really cost the Cubs the game? No. They had eight innings to get it right, to build a lead, and they didn’t. Their pitching and defense was atrocious in the eighth. And of course, they had also lost two previous games in the series. They’ve had chances to win.

But still.

Such a thing could only happen to the Cubbies, and it breaks my heart.

Here’s something fun:

In your best Harry Carey voice, say:

“HEY! What the heck was that guy thinking? That guy was a moron! You know what I used to do to fans who ruined ballgames? Why I’d reach back and pimp slap their moms. I’m not kiddin’, I’d draw blood! Come on Cubbies…”

If you ever want to make me laugh, imitate Harry Carey. Even the bad impressions (like mine) crack me up.

Crazy old guy.

GO CUBBIES! WIN ONE FOR HARRY! Or me. Or yourselves. For God’s sake.