Elantris by Brandon Sanderson

There was an episode of the Simpsons where the family’s front lawn was being used as a showdown ground between the Mafia and the Yakuza (I’m going somewhere with this…). Marge calls desperately to Homer to get into the house for his own safety, but Homer is hesitant. Throughout the fight, there’s been a small Yakuza thug dressed in white watching the whole fight with detached interest.

MARGE: Homie, maybe we should go inside.
HOMER: But, Marge, that little guy hasn't done anything yet. Look at him. He's going to do something and you know it's going to be good.
[Marge pulls him back into the house and shuts the door. A loud ninja yell is heard, followed by a thump]
HOMER: Aw...

So. What does this all have to do with one of the best fantasy novels I’ve read recently? I’m not sure, but Homer’s funny, isn’t he? But seriously… Elantris, the first novel by Brandon Sanderson, is much like the above scene. An amazing premise to start, a LOT of politics and socializing, followed by an astounding battle sequence to close the show. Sanderson keeps you hooked in and interested through all of the talk of government, trade organizations, religious disputes, and cultural clashes, because you know the payoff is going to be worth it. You’re not closing the door on this one. Elantris, simply put, is the city of the Gods. Inhabitants of the surrounding towns are “afflicted”, seemingly at random, by a process called the Shaod. The Shaod leaves them with shining skin, great hair, and the ability to perform magic and miracles. Those affected by the Shaod came together to form the city of Elantris, a peaceful, benevolent society built to serve the greater good of the land. As the tagline says, Elantrians “could live in bliss, rule in wisdom, and be worshipped for eternity. Eternity ended ten years ago.”

The Shaod was replaced by the Reod, an event that would leave all Elantrians weakened, crippled, and deformed. Their skin was dark and blotchy. Their hearts no longer beat. They could not die, nor could they heal. A small cut or a stubbed toe would never lose its initial pain. The accumulation of these injuries over time would drive Elantrians mad. Once the Reod hit, a new aristocracy arose, and the Elantrians were locked into their formerly glorious city, left there to rot and be forgotten.

One morning, Raoden, Prince of the city Kae, awakens to find himself “dead”, a victim of the Reod. He is led to Elantris and dumped, to be forgotten. Across the world, his arranged bride Sarene, whom he’s never met, was on her way to Kae. Upon learning of Raoden’s “death” Sarene does not shrink. She works against the harsh rule of Iadon and seeks a way to bring happiness and equality to the kingdom. Meanwhile, Raoden struggles to bring hope to the Elantrians, the most hopeless of all. He must first unite three warring gang factions while working to discover a cure for the Reod. The Kingdom of Kae must also contend with the fact that a strong religious country has designs to take over the nation, converting the world to their ways.

Most authors would have used their first book to tell part of this tale, but Sanderson has delivered an epic, one-volume masterpiece. The book will inevitably draw comparisons to Tolkien, but it wouldn’t be entirely fair to call Sanderson’s work derivative. Elantris is highly original, instantly engaging, and one of the top books of the year.

Make Love!* *the bruce campbell way by Bruce Campbell

Who better to write a B-grade adventure novel than the king of B-movies, Mr. Bruce Campbell? Those familiar with Campbell's first book, If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B-Movie Actor, will know what to expect when it comes to the author's view of all things Hollywood. He's made the argument previously that all big-budget Hollywood blockbusters are essentially "pumped-up, cheeseball, Saturday matinee serials" - in short, B movies- and he's right.

In Make Love, Bruce creates a fictional account of his temporary rise into the A-Movie stratosphere and the disastrous consequences he has on the production. He's been tapped to star in a new Mike Nichols romantic comedy called "Let's Make Love!" starring Richard Gere and Renee Zellweger. Bruce is chosen to play Foyl, the doorman at Gere's building who's always ready to lend a hand with warm advice and worldly wisdom on love. After landing the role, Bruce has a crisis of confidence and decides that he has to approach the movie method-style. He begins by writing a disastrously funny backstory of Foyl Whipple the doorman, turning him into a tragic hero who rose above a backwoods upbringing to move to the big city. Bruce insists that everyone on the set call him Foyl. He then begins a cross-country quest to learn all he can about relationships (by observing a crooked "relationship doctor"), doormen (by temping for one day at the Waldorf - and being tagged as a threat to national security as a result), and marriage (by talking to Elizabeth Taylor).

In between these misadventures, Bruce starts to infect his co-stars and directors with "the B-Movie Virus". Soon, he has the cast adding fight scenes where they're not needed. The movie becomes less about romance and more about explosions, wire-work, and crazy camera angles. By the end, Bruce is being kicked off of the set, eventually infiltrating Paramount studios to see who's set him up to fail on this now epic film.

To truly appreciate the book, it must be viewed as a 300 page B-movie. Expecting too much from the story will result in a lot of eye-rolling, "oh, come on!" moments... well, more than if you weren't thinking of it as a B-movie ride. Some of the tangent scenes begin to feel like filler, and the villain of the story and his motives are never fully realized. Despite all of this, Campbell delivers the goods in a riotously fun, engaging story that is probably more truth than most of Hollywood would like to admit. Most telling of all are Campbell's final lines: "As for the B-movie virus I was accused of spreading, I've got news for you: the virus has already been active for years... B movies won a long time ago; the A movies just don't know it yet."

Mage: The Hero Discovered by Matt Wagner

Ask any comic book geek to make a top ten list of the greatest comics of all time. You’ll get the inevitable “Dark Knight Returns”, “Watchmen”, “Maus”, “Sandman”, but somewhere in there, Matt Wagner’s Mage will make an appearance. From its somewhat clumsy beginnings to its amazing conclusion, Mage is a loveable shaggy dog of a story that has earned its place in the pantheon of great tales.

Kevin Matchstick was an ordinary man who wanted nothing more than to mind his own business. During a stroll one night (under the influence?) Kevin stumbles upon a rather eccentric homeless man, and they engage in a brief philosophical debate over happiness. The man hints that Kevin’s life may be destined for something greater, and then he disappears, leaving Kevin flustered and confused. Soon after, Kevin finds himself breaking up a mugging. The assailant is a mystical creature in disguise: a grackleflint. Kevin dispatches of him and calls for help from the police. When he returns home, the homeless man is there waiting for him. He introduces himself as Mirth, and becomes a bit of a spirit guide for Kevin the reluctant hero. Kevin finds himself in the middle of a great war. Under the guidance of their father the Umbra Sprite, the five grackleflint brothers are hunting down the Fisher King, the being who represents the force of light in the universe. It’s up to Kevin to stop them from reaching their goal. He’s joined in battle by Edsel, a young lady wielding a mystical baseball bat, and Sean, a ghost of a recently departed public defender.

The Umbra Sprite throws everything he can at Kevin: ogres, dragons, and demonic armies of little RedCaps. Ultimately, Kevin must infiltrate the Umbra Sprite’s lair at the Styx Casino and bring it down to finish the war. As he approaches his final destination, Kevin’s friends disappear one by one, until he is left to face the challenge alone with the knowledge that he is the reincarnation of Arthur Pendragon, legendary king of England.

Matt Wagner makes deft use of mythology and Gods in his retelling of the eternal story of the Pendragon. It’s amazing to see the correlations he draws in our modern society. While the first few chapters tend to labor under the weight of the massive epic to come, once Wagner gets up to speed, it’s a sight to behold, a gauntlet laid down for future generations of storytellers. The second installment of this epic, Mage: The Hero Defined was finished ten years after the completion of The Hero Discovered. Fans anxiously hope that the conclusion, Mage: The Hero Denied, doesn’t take another ten years.

Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman

Anansi the Spider was one of the Old Gods, an African Legend, the creator of all stories. He’s a trickster, so anyone trying to tell a story about Anansi, even Anansi himself, will probably have trouble keeping track of everything. Anansi Boys is a story that is so simultaneously simple, complex, and winding, funny, sad, scary, and exciting, that even the author, when asked to describe his story, calls it "a magical-horror-thriller-ghost-romantic-comedy-family-epic". And he still isn’t quite hitting the mark with that description.

Anansi Boys is first and foremost an immensely enjoyable book. It is a story of fathers and sons, of loss, of courage, and love. The God Anansi the Spider (Mr. Nancy to us mere mortals) dies within the first three pages of the book under less-than-godly circumstances. His son (who is blissfully unaware of Anansi’s Deity) returns to Florida to bury his father. Charlie Nancy is a bit of a slouch. He’s engaged to be married, but only because it seems like the right thing to do. He has a job where he doesn’t have to work too hard; in short, Charlie Nancy is just getting by. Charlie is known to all as “Fat Charlie” because that’s the name his Dad called him, and since Anansi named all creatures, Fat Charlie is the name that sticks in everyone’s mind. This isn’t the first humiliation that Mr. Nancy saddled his son with, and certainly not the last (the President’s Day fiasco comes to mind). To put it bluntly, Fat Charlie has father issues. After the funeral (and Fat Charlie’s memorable speech), Fat Charlie learns a startling new fact: he has a brother. He’s told that if he wants to meet his brother, all he has to do is whisper to a spider. One night, in a drunken stupor, Fat Charlie does just that, and the next day, Spider is on the doorstep to greet Fat Charlie.

Spider, a carbon copy of Fat Charlie who got all of the cool in the family, is in touch with his divine roots. Spider is always on the lookout for a good time, and thus, Fat Charlie’s life begins to take a strange turn. Good things happen, bad things happen, but most importantly things happen. Spider shows Fat Charlie how to loosen up. Spider steals Fat Charlie’s fiancée. Spider takes some liberties with Fat Charlie’s life, blackmailing his boss, altering his apartment, and generally making a nuisance of himself. Now, all Fat Charlie wants is to get Spider out of his life. Unfortunately, the only way to do this is through magical intervention. Each new solution seems to burden Fat Charlie with more problems, ultimately bringing him closer to the awareness of who he really is and what he’s capable of.

Anansi Boys is a book that defies convention and defies description (unless you resort to clichés, in which case it’s a crackling, rollercoaster ride of thrills from start to finish). Neil Gaiman is a master storyteller who is only beginning to hit his stride. To the uninitiated: Get on board now and try to keep up.