Michael Paul Gonzalez: Scary Author. Monkey Enthusiast.

Just when you think everything is going fine…
I did my civic duty! I was a juror in an armed robbery trial. Now that my court-mandated gag-order is released, I shall tell all on my blog! SOON (Keep an eye on the Lost Angeles section. Go there now!) Here’s a teaser:

Imagine the intrigue of NBC’s Law & Order. Throw in a dash of mystery a la CSI. Add a dash of gritty street detectives from NYPD Blue. Sounds cool, doesn’t it?

Well, this trial wasn’t anything like that. It was cold in the courtroom. The attorneys weren’t very exciting (the prosecutor kind of poo-poo’d all of the above mentioned shows — say… new blog topic. What is the correct spelling of the past tense of poo-poo?).

Anyway, I served three days and made $45 plus mileage. Theres a good story to tell in there somewhere.

I’m getting sick of Los Angeles.

It is finished…
We are moved into the new apartment. And, as Madeline Kahn sang in Blazing Saddles… I’m tired. Of course, I’m tired for very different reasons. Today is a melancholy day. I had planned to put an entry in about my recent confirmation as a Catholic. Now, I have to think a little longer so that I can post my feelings about the passing of Pope John Paul II, a truly magnificent human being and an inspiration. A few months back, I was thinking about his declining condition, and how relentless and determined he remained to send his message. I will post a tribute soon…

In more inappropriate news…
I found a link to this picture off of Neil Gaiman’s blog, and I think I need to do more caption contests. This logo comes from the doorway of a children’s clinic. Let me beat you all to the punchline on one series of jokes… was the clinic funded by Michael Jackson? (or NAMBLA? or… insert random perv (no pun intended…)) Now you try! Let’s hear some commercial taglines…

In other heartbreaking news…
Wrestlemania is taking place tomorrow here in Los Angeles. Such a wonderful cultural event, and I have to miss it. And tonight, the Hall of Fame ceremony. Nikolai Volkoff, the Iron Sheik, Hulk Hogan, Roddy Piper, Cowboy Bob Orton all in one room… It’s like a childhood dream. And I can’t be there. *SIGH*

Here is a list of writing prompts to keep you occupied while I’m in the process of moving:

1. You’re trapped on a desert island and your pants are on fire.
2. Okay, this isn’t going to be one of those lists, really. I’m in the middle of moving to a newer, larger, cheaper apartment, so this is about all of the energy you get out of me today. But here’s the good news: in the next couple of weeks, I’ll be settled in (hopefully) and churning out lots more good stuff for you. There’s a new novel in the works, and a screenplay, and lots of stuff.
3. Robert Blake was found innocent today. You want a writing prompt? Try captioning this photo.

4. Someday I will be in a position to be consistently, spontaneously witty. I have made some very good jokes at work lately, to some very unappreciative audiences. So why do I bother telling them?
5. In a strange way, these are writing prompts after all. Except this last one. There’s nothing you can do to make it a writing prompt. Oops, wait. There is now.

Keep an eye on things here…
I think it’s time for another site redesign. Nothing major, just a few tweaks here and there to make getting around easy. I have a few new short story posts coming up in the Lost Angeles section (learn about Los Angeles Laundromats, and I see Dead People…). And as soon as (or if) my life settles down, a couple of new web projects coming up. Fun fun fun.
Today, I truly feel like a grown up citizen. I got a jury summons in the mail. Which means a day away from the office spent sitting in a tiny room downtown reading a book, most likely to be told I won’t be needed. T-minus two weeks until our new apartment…
Other than that, I’m just waiting for a few more free moments to get some script and book things together. I’m hoping to be able to report news here soon (Positive or negative) but I don’t want to jinx anything. Hold your breath!

I need to find more time.
I’ve done a lot of reading and movie watching lately, both new things and late model releases, and I really should get around to posting reviews, seeing as how I went to the trouble of making pages for such things. For instance, I want to talk about Hotel Rwanda, Garden State, House of Flying Daggers, Sideways, Napoleon Dynamite, and Moulin Rouge. I want to discuss Vince Foster’s A Chimp in the Family, CS Lewis’s Chronicles of Narnia, and some short stories. I think you should know about albums by Green Day, Aimee Mann, and Mazzy Star. Unfortunately, I am also trying to finish a screenplay and another book, and awaiting word form an agent about a book, and working long hours, and listen to me whine!

Los Angeles is beginning to feel a lot like Seattle. I should feel comforted listening to the rain pound on my roof and windows, but it’s an alien sensation here. It has rained more in the past month than in the entire two years I’ve been here. Mudslides and bad traffic are only a few of the side effects. We should have beach weather soon.

Well. Anyway. The reviews are coming. I just have to finish apartment hunting, etc. Stay tuned. Perhaps instead of renting an apartment, I should gather the animals two by two and prepare an ark. LA is due for a good scrubbing anyway.

As Bree Sharp sang in “Guttermouth“:

City life is hard to cope
with sleazy gropers pushing dope
Sometimes survivals only hope’s
A mouth that needs a wash with soap
And water couldn’t clean this town
The sewers run above the ground
The streets are like a lost and found
With vagabonds who spews sounds from the gutter…

Which reminds me, I should post reviews of Bree Sharp too.
As Napoleon would say,
Gawsh!

Good Things, Bad Things…

Good things first. I paid off my last credit card today! So there! Woo!
Bad things. I just worked a 23 hour shift at work. Can I write that again so you don’t think it’s a typo? TWENTY THREE HOURS!

More to come…

Here’s Something New…

So many ideas for books and scripts, and so very little time. I’ve got to finish a short film script soon. I’ve also got a backlog of books to review and get up on the site, as well as some great CDs and movies. My more conservative budget has me spending less time at the theater. But I still get out every once in a while. I think one of the things I’d like to add to the movie review page is the “rarely seen scenes”, where I can review movies that I loved in childhood, and upon further review either loathed or loved even more. Movies like Berry Gordy’s The Last Dragon, The Barbarian Brothers’ Think Big, Big Trouble in Little China, The Last Starfighter, Krull, Joysticks, Bodyslam!… You know, True American Classics.

This promises to be one of the best/most disappointing movie years in a while, with the new Batman film, Neil Gaiman’s Mirrormask, Fantastic Four (not to be confused with THIS), Constantine, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and a little Space Opera called Revenge of the Sith. Dang. Please don’t let us down, Hollywood…

It wouldn’t make sense…

…for me to apologize for my utter lack of postings. But I’ve been tied up. Literally. By an evil cabal of terrorist Smurfs, upset at their lack of recognition. It’s been quite an ordeal. But while sequestered, I have been able to finish rewriting my second book. And I’ve done a lot of other neat things. And next month, all of my credit cards will be paid off. So that’s a good thing. More to come.

I promise.

For real this time.