I know this isn’t related to the many lies and deceptions in her new “book”, but Ann Coulter is pathological. Ann is to the truth as Uday and Qusay were to Iraqi defectors. The worst part is, 90% of her hot air can be deflated by performing a single google search for facts refuting her stance. And I’m not talking about internet blogosphere, I’m talking about that tricky notion known as “THE TRUTH”. Which isn’t a tricky notion at all. It’s only tricky when you try to bend it to fit your facts. Ask Ann Coulter. Or, to lesser degrees, Bill O’Reilly or Michael Moore.

In her Oscar “It’s hard out here for a Wimp”, Ann Coulter (in between homophobic “jokes” and conservative “humor”) states:

Contrary to Clooney’s impassioned speech, no theaters ever forced black people to sit in the back. If you were trying to oppress people, you would make them sit in the front, which are the worst seats in the house. Or you’d just make them watch a George Clooney movie.

I seem to remember comedian Dick Gregory (an alum from my Alma Mater, Southern Illinois University at Carbondale) telling a story of the issues he faced…

H.B. Koplowitz credits Dick Gregory with “perhaps the first documented instance of civil protest in Carbondale“– in the early ‘50s, the young SIU student successfully ended the Varsity Theater’s segregation policy when he refused to sit in the balcony.

Coulter misses a few things here… The most obvious being that balconies are indeed located in the back of the theater. The point of segregation wasn’t to give black people neck strain at the movies, it was to marginalize them and minimize any reminder to white society that they existed. They were not to be seen. Period. Before the civil rights era, nobody would have tolerated black people walking down the aisles in front of everyone! Heaven forbid! (This of course, is in theaters that didn’t have “colored-only” screenings).

She also gives us a bit of tacit racism in her description of Three 6 Mafia’s acceptance speech:
I believe this marks the first time in Oscars history that an award recipient shouted, “Thank you, Jesus!” upon receiving his award. Admittedly, this was the only part of the speech that didn’t have to be bleeped and it was for a song titled, “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp,” but it’s still a step forward.

Yes, the speech was… exuberant… to say the least. But Coulter doesn’t hesitate to remind us that black people are loud, obnoxious, womanizing, etc.

Rapper Juicy J from Thee 6 had the following to say regarding his speech:
It was so real and we didn’t write down an acceptance speech. It was nothing written down. When they said, “Three 6 Mafia,” we went crazy. My mama said, “Boy, I ain’t never seen you jump that high.” I dedicated it to her and to my Dad. My Dad had had surgery the day I found out we got nominated. I’m like, “Dad this is for you. I’m out here hustlin’ and grindin’, but I won this Oscar for you. I love you.” He said, “I’m proud of you. I didn’t know the music was going to take you this far but you done did it.” My Dad has always been there by my side, watching me growing up.

Coulter spends the majority of the article trying to prove that it’s Hollywood that’s late in catching social injustices:

This is why, for example, in the middle of an epic war with Islamic fascists, Hollywood is still making movies about the Nazis. Now and then, just for variety, they tackle a more current topic, like the Jim Crow era.

Now, I don’t know if she would prefer that every movie deal with war in the sensitive way that Rambo III did (you know, the one where Rambo helps the Taliban defeat the Soviets in an epic game of Tank vs. Helicopter chicken). Maybe she doesn’t realize that it takes time to make movies, and that years pass between acceptance of a script and the final day of production. Maybe she’s missed movies like The Manchurian Candidate, Flight 93, and Jarhead, or shows like Baghdad ER.

Maybe she’s just not that bright.

And of course…

Maybe she’s not a she at all!

This joke never gets old. So many ways to prove she’s a hypocrite, so little time…

Dear Lord!
http://pixyland.org/peterpan/

Hitler Cats!
http://hitlercats.motime.com/

GenPets!
http://www.genpets.com/index.php

It’s a wonderful world we live in. Two of these three entires are, to some degree, fake (or, “art”). I’ll let you decide.

I was checking out Max Barry‘s website the other day. He mentioned that when he felt down, he’d go check his web statistics to see what unique search engine queries led people to his site. He had a lot of strange ones, but I may have him beat. I made one post a few months back about Ann Coulter and how there seemed to be a small cult of people fixating on odd Ann Coulter sexual fantasies.
Well.
Guess who’s getting lots of web hits because of this?
That’s right, the leading search engine terms taking people to my site right now are Ann Coulter, nude, and Nazi. Which means I really need to get my books sold so I can have other traffic here. No offense intended to you Coulterphiles out there. Although if you are into Coulter, there’s something you should consider…

I’m just saying, that’s all…

In a related side note, I will be blogging more frequently about Ann Coulter’s nude lesbian Nazi Bachelor Beach Party and the effects it had on Britney Spears and Madonna’s attempt to convert Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie to sex-crazed nymphomania with inflatable sheep. Take THAT, search engines! And welcome to all of you perverts. Let’s see how “inflatable sheep” ranks on my hit list in a month.

You know, I’m a huge critic of the Bush administration. But this whole thing about branding our troops as war criminals before they have a fair trial is killing me. I will always always always support our troops. My Dad gave 20 years to the Air Force, and to think that this is the kind of situation he may have had to put himself in, and to do it anyway for his country and his family… phew. Amazing. And to think that there are people here who would prefer to label our soldiers in Haditha incident as criminals without thinking of what they’re living through…
(If they’re guilty, let them stand trial and be found as such. Same thing for all of those “enemy combatants” at Git’Mo.)

I saw this video on crooksandliars.com and got angry, thinking… “Look at these contractors. They’re just committing wholesale slaughter of innocent civilians…”
http://www.crooksandliars.com/2005/11/27.html#a6076

But one of the comments made a few great points, chiefly (and obviously) that the music is dubbed in for effect, and secondly, that the convoy may have been dealing with situations like these:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdEaER35iJ4&search=roadside%20ambush

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qy5M_H9RJZI&search=checkpoint%20bomb

Some of the bloggers were angry that the contractors were found not guilty. Me? I understand.

I still don’t like Bush. Or Cheney. Not to mention how I wish it was Ann Coulter approaching that car in the last video… (Boy, I feel sleazy for employing Coulter style “humor” there.)
But give the troops a break. They’re doing a job. Something I, nor a vast majority of our population will never have to experience or understand, and the reason we won’t have to is because our troops are fighting for us. And they always will.

Aleks’s friend Ania is in town from Poland, so we went to Six Flags Magic Mountain yesterday. They have a new coaster called Tatsu, the first horizontal flying coaster in the world. It was my goal to ride this thing, as it looked incredible. It was also my goal to ride a few other coasters I’d heard a lot about, like Goliath (285 foot vertical drop, 85MPH!), Superman the Escape (0-60 in the blink of an eye, 0 gravity!), Riddler’s Revenge, Deja Vu, Scream, and more! When we got to the park, we decided it would be best to start at Tatsu, since the lines would just get longer throughout the day.

To our chagrin, the lines were already 2 and a half hours long when we arrived. No problem, we’ll check out other rides and maybe come back later. Deja Vu was close… and it also had a 2 hour line. Then reality set in. It was Six Flags in the summer on a weekend – EVERY ride had at least a two hour wait. Well… the new ones anyway. So we started on psyclone (I think that’s what it was called). One of those good old fashioned wooden coasters that beats the crap out of you in the turns. It was a good start. Then we moved on to Gold Rusher, a coaster which made no sense (but Aleks liked it). It climbed a very small hill, approached the first drop and….slowed…down. (?!) Then it was a series of twists and turns where we repeatedly …slowed…down. It finished with a nice spiral turn, but I didn’t think it was anything worth mentioning (even though I just did). I guess that explains why there was no wait.

Then we went to Riddler’s Revenge – a 90 minute wait, but it looked worth it. Only problem was, 3/4 of the way through the line, I realized the car keys were no longer in my pocket. Which meant my house keys were also no longer in my pocket. Which meant if we couldn’t find the keys, we couldn’t go home. (Spare key, you ask? No!) We decided to go ahead and finish waiting for the coaster since it had been so long (and it was truly fun. Like a fighter plane chase, all twists and turns and stuff). Then it was on to the key hunt. We backtracked our steps, skipping psyclone because I was positive I had my keys when we left, even though Aleks said we should go back there since it was on the way. Long story short, after an hour of wasted walking, hunting, crawling in an arcade, looking behind a toilet, running the 3/4 mile from the park to the car, running back, and looking everywhere, the keys were at the operator’s station at Psyclone. They’d fallen out of my pocket when I got out of the cart.

We ate, then went to Goliath, as Tatsu now had a massive 4 hour wait time. Goliath had a slightly less massive 2.5 hour wait. It looked like Tatsu would be for another day. Goliath was the best coaster I’ve ridden to date. The first drop feels like forever, and there were a few 0-G moments. Then some tight spirals that got closer and closer to the ground. Ah. And this ride was smooth. I love coasters that can deliver thrills without bruises. Superman was next, as I’d heard all day that the wait wasn’t that long (turned out to be less than an hour). I went alone, as the girls didn’t want to lose their lunch. Superman is essentially a really tall ramp. You go from 0-60 (or 600 or something) in 2 seconds, up a ramp, hang for a second in 0-G, then go back down. It is literally a 30 second ride. But very fun. Now it was late (7PM!).

We’d paid 90 some dollars for admission, 15 to park, and in a 10 hour day, managed to go on about 5 rides. Lesson: NEVER go to six flags on the weekend. EVER. PERIOD. We caught the Batman Begins stunt show, which was pretty fun, a kid-friendly 30 minute retelling of the movie with Power Ranger-style combat, explosions, and circular car chases. I never thought I’d say a chase involving a dirtbike and a Batmobile would be fun, but there’s something about watching ninjas run for their lives while a massive Tumbler rips at them that’s just…keen. Then it was time to go… no Tatsu. SIGH.

But wait… earlier in the day, I’d traded my spot in a beverage line for a FlashPass(TM) – which gives you front of the line privilege on any ride. Tatsu’s FlashPass line was rumored to be in the 90 minute range… it was worth a look, right? The Tatsu line at 9PM was still a 3.5 hour wait. The FlashPass line was…30 MINUTES! JOY AND RAPTURE! I wanted to give the FlashPass to Ania, since she would probably not be back in LA anytime soon, but she said she didn’t want to go. So, with all of the patience of a 5 year old, I ran up the stairs for the night flight of my life. Imagine hanging like a side of beef while you’re flying 200 feet in the air. The night view was amazing, stars above me on the flips, a view of LA and the valley all lit up below. Tatsu is the greatest coaster ever built. Ever ever ever. And to be able to ride a new top 1 and 2 coaster in one day was amazing. When I got to the bottom of the exit, Aleks was waiting, but no Ania… turns out someone else had given them a FlashPass, and Ania would indeed get to ride Tatsu! What a day! Aleks needs to ride Tatsu too. We’ll go back someday… on a weekday… in October. Then we’ll have our run of the place.

Exhausted and sunburned after a day at Amazing Animal Productions. We got up close and personal with a wolf, a leopard, a lion, a tiger, three chimps, a baby boar, a hawk, and one hyperactive puppy. There will be many pictures to come, but suffice it to say it was a day well spent. I’m ready for sleep and rest, but this is our prep week to go to the Grand Canyon, so we’re not going to get any rest at all. Lots of packing and planning to do, and Friday is the big day for our quasi-vacation/runaround.
Hopefully I’ll come back refreshed with some new story ideas. I’ve got so many things going on with web design that writing time is getting scarce. I’m getting ready to start another round of agent/publisher shopping and also designing my website for Monkeywright Designs (I told you I was branding this thing!). Business cards coming soon and hopefully we’ll get rolling nationwide on affordable web creation!
Now, to sleep, perchance to dream of chimps…

Friday was a killer. On my feet all day helping to set up the first gala fundraising event for the Coalition for At-Risk Urban Youth. Beverly Hills Hotel. Hollywood stars, silent auctions, dinner, dancing, too much to do.
But by the end of the night, we did it, and did it well. The event was a huge success, and best of all, I no longer have to spend my days getting ready for this event.
In other news…
Monkeywright Designs rolls along, with the debut of davekt.com. The Animal Agency is up next, and promises to be the grandest work yet…

Two weeks to go until our trip to the Grand Canyon. Before that, we’ll be going back to see Cody and the animals to update the pictures on amazinganimalproductions.com.
Sounds like the site’s doing wonders for them.

So, this weekend, Aleks and I took part in the Revlon Run/Walk for Breast Cancer. It was a grueling 5K trek… actually, it was a stroll through the streets of LA with thousands of other people. I walked in memory of my Grandma, who lost the battle. Hopefully the cure is moving closer.

It started with a gut-wrenchingly bad intro from Marcia Gay Harden and Felicity Huffman of Desperate Housewives. Well, Huffman was okay. But Marcia was giving some crunchy “close your eyes and send out positivity, good energy, moment of silence” nonsense. I can say this because I have two theater degrees, so I’ve lived through it, and it was just…bad. Then came a lot of moving survivor stories, followed by a great performance by Chaka Khan! That’s right, she’s still alive!
(PS – whoever hired that annoying radio/TV guy with the grey hair, bad Oakleys, and annoying patter, please remember – we’d rather walk in silence)

Soon enough, we were lined up at the start. Some confetti cannons erupted, giving the atmosphere of the end of a KISS concert, or a political convention, or… something. It was enough to make people slow down from their already painful pace, so the beginning of the walk was more of a shuffle. About 1 mile in, we noticed a large contingent of people pulling off at an amazing church on the corner of … well, we didn’t get the address, but it was an amazing church.

Best moment of the walk for me, other than walking into the Olympic Coliseum and seeing the torch lit up. I knew that if I was ten years younger and it was twenty-odd years ago, and I was some sort of athlete who was good enough to qualify, and the crowd was larger, and the Bangles weren’t playing on the field, this would be exactly what being an Olympian would feel like. I did get a gold medal for finishing first, though. Don’t believe any of the other 50,000 people who show your THEIR medals. Mine is the only true one.

Speaking of the Bangles, they were pretty good. Older, paler, and slightly out of tune on some songs, but still rockin’. They were followed by some local band who stumbled out of the gate with a bad cover of “Hey Ya!” but recovered nicely with some Motown covers and disco.

We followed this by arriving late to our Marriage Encounter Weekend reunion weekend, but still scarfed down some cookies and caught up with everybody. If you’re married, I cannot recommend Worldwide Marriage Encounter highly enough. Whether you’re happy as clams, bitter as Elizabeth Taylor and whoever, this weekend is nothing but good for your marriage. ATTEND AND BE HAPPY!

In other news…
One more day in the weekend to go and lots more to do. amazinganimalproductions.com is fully active now, awaiting some minor tweaks and some additional photos. Go check it out! I’m proud of my work. I have a couple of actor websites about to post as well. If you know someone that wants an economical and pretty website, point them my way…