Only the Cubbies.
Damn Damn and double Damn. Game six.
A classic.
The Cubs are six outs away from their first world series in forever. And what happens? What turns the tide of the game? Is it abrilliant double play by the Marlins? A skyrocket homerun?
No.
It's a Cubs fan.
A Cubs fan who doesn't think to get the Hell out of the way of a foul ball and let his home team make the play. A Cubs fan whom I feel sorry for, because he will probably have to move out of Chicago since some drunken idiots will be looking to hurt him should the Cubs not make it to the Series.
Now. Let's analyze:
Did the fan really cost the Cubs the game? No. They had eight innings to get it right, to build a lead, and they didn't. Their pitching and defense was atrocious in the eighth. And of course, they had also lost two previous games in the series. They've had chances to win.
But still.
Such a thing could only happen to the Cubbies, and it breaks my heart.
Here's something fun:
In your best Harry Carey voice, say:
"HEY! What the heck was that guy thinking? That guy was a moron! You know what I used to do to fans who ruined ballgames? Why I'd reach back and pimp slap their moms. I'm not kiddin', I'd draw blood! Come on Cubbies..."
If you ever want to make me laugh, imitate Harry Carey. Even the bad impressions (like mine) crack me up.
Crazy old guy.
GO CUBBIES! WIN ONE FOR HARRY! Or me. Or yourselves. For God's sake.

Here are two words for movie fun:
Kill Bill.
The good news: Tarantino is back, doing what he does best, and making me fall in love with seventies gore and chop socky all over again.
The bad news: We're probably in for four years of Tarantino copycats and wannabes, as we were after Pulp Fiction. Every pitch in Hollywood will probably start... "Imagine Kill Bill, but with... _____"
Speaking of, I have a new book I'm finishing up right now. Think of Kill Bill, but with different stuff. Plus, I started work on it a year ago, and of course, someone had to come out first with some of the ideas. Damn damn.
I told you Arnold would win.
At least I'll have something to blog about.
There are so many things to write about, and so little time.
I need a new back, and new knees, and more money.
Also, read these books:
Rogue Warrior by Richard Marcinko
Jennifer Government by Max Barry
The Contortionist's Handbook by Craig Clevenger
Yeah, I read a lot. But at least I don't do drugs!

Until next time,
Go Cubbies!
...and what the heck, Go Sox.